Yearender: 2014 last-post-turned-2015-first post

Between work stuff, holiday parties, and being sick, my supposed last post for 2014 is now my first post for 2015.

I either usually post a rundown of the year or a list of things I’m grateful for. This year, allow me to do something a bit different. I’ve been reading (and watching) a lot and I come across so many quotes that validate some of the things I believe in.

Here are a few of them.

 

1. On writing and other passions. But specifically writing.

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– Ernest Hemingway on writing

I wrote about this on Instagram before. Writing is my double-edge sword. It is my happiness and sadness, hope and discouragement, wonder and despair. Also, that sounded too dramatic. But so very true. Finding out at age 25 that what I want most to do is to write, after so many years of not being able to, is a mixture of emotions. First is happiness at finally figuring it out. Second is “how the fuck am I going to start?”

I thought that I am so out of practice. I thought that 25 is too late an age to start mastering my craft. It took me a while to understand that I will always be out of practice and that I will never master writing. Because no matter how much I write, no two stories are the same. Best I can do is to tell the world those stories, in the best way I can.

I will always be an apprentice, because for as long as I am living there will always be something new to learn; no end game, no pinnacle, no summit.

 

2. On time and our natural deadline.

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Bedelia Du Maurier (played by Gillian Anderon) in Hannibal TV series

We will all die. No, I am not scaring people with a prophetic statement of some sort. In this world filled with uncertainties, death is the most certain thing; it is not a matter of if, but of when.

Having said that, a huge thing for me in 2014 is thinking along the lines of “how do I want to feel at the end of my life?” This was probably triggered by all my Hannibal, Blue Bloods, and Boardwalk Empire binges, not to mention news of war, missing airplanes, exploding airplanes, and genocides that I see on the news. When faced with that much death and gore, you start thinking about your own.

I decided that all the things I do and all the decisions I make should be based on being able to get the most out of life. No, it doesn’t include partying all night (nothing wrong with that, just not my thing) and doing stupid stuff. It includes seeing the world, bettering my craft, cultivating relationships with people who are worth it, and learning new things. Because I do not want to meet my Maker and realize that I did not do justice to the life I’ve been so generously given.

 

3. On family and the people worth wasting time on.

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Frank Reagan (played by the very dignified Tom Selleck) in Blue Bloods

I could never emphasize how significant my loved ones are in this kind of life I’m building. While I’m used to doing things on my own and usually tend to rely on myself in all possible aspects of my life, the people I surround myself with play a huge role.

Let’s start with the family I was born to. They’re…unique. While largely traditional and somewhat conventional, I have the kind of family who gives their support even as they (loudly. Oh, so very loudly) dispense caution and advice. There are disagreements, which is normal with any family, but I’m sure that when the going gets tough, they are right there to cheer (goad, tease, whatever) you into getting through. Do I love them? Of course, I do. Do I like them? Not all the time.

My friends, on the other hand, are really a selected few. Snobbish? Maybe. But with the realization of life’s certain end come the realization that it should be spent with people who are worth it. These are the people who don’t necessarily have the same interests as I do but who have the same passion to live life fully.

Frank Reagan is right. It’s comforting to go on life’s adventures when you have people you can count on.

 

4. On taking risks and being a hero.

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Piper McLean in The Mark of Athena from Rick Riordan’s Heroes of Olympus

Oh, 2014. You have been such a feisty year. It was a year of wins and delays (I don’t want to call them losses), challenges and triumphs, and just general chaos. Where I am when the year ended wasn’t exactly where I envisioned myself to be when it started – in a good way. It was a year that challenged me – my grit, my skills, my aversion to planning, and my patience.

Sometimes, I wonder how I was able to keep things together, how all those parts of me stood up to the challenges thrown my way. In hindsight, I figured it’s all a matter of just doing whatever needs to be done in the simplest way possible. The year that was taught me that: be a hero. Commit. And when you commit, do.

 

5. On that thing called love.

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Not sure where I got this but, me, during random conversations with friends.

This is something I’ve always lived by. That love, like most important things in life, is a choice. While I grew up with Disney’s happy-ever-after mantra, I’ve never really subscribed to it. You will never “just know” that the person is right for you. There is no such thing as love at first sight (lust, maybe). There is no happily-ever-after unless you work hard for it.

Love is choosing the person you want to entrust the rest of your life with. To love is to choose the other person’s well-being over your pride and comfort. To love is to choose to make things work no matter how hard things get. To love is to choose to stay with each other no matter how angry you are. Love is choosing forever. Love is choosing to stay. Love is choosing to love. Everyday.

 

The year that was had both been amazing and stressful. And I get the feeling that 2015 will be more of everything.

 

Keep going,

Sign off

 

 

 

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